Church 6 – Metropolitan Community Church

I visited a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) today. What I learned is that I certainly have some misperceptions of how other people pursue a relationship with God and engage in worship. This is why this project of visiting the churches in my neighborhood is important to me.

Visiting a gay church is not the same thing as visiting a gay bar; or at least it isn’t the same as the notion of the gay bar I have in my head.

One of my hang-ups with homosexuality is that I get the picture of the male same-sex, sex act in my head and find it a big turnoff. I can easily reduce the complexity, creativity, and uniqueness of a person by an imagined action. It’s sad, really. I think people would be missing a whole lot of who I am if they mainly choose to categorize my life based on my sexual preferences. What I enjoy doing with my wife in the privacy of our bedroom isn’t at the forefront of people’s minds when I am grocery shopping, making a business deal, or worshipping next to them in church; the fact that I’ve made this the predominant issue for viewing the LBGT community isn’t very loving.

“But it’s sin!” you counter. It may be—but then so was the adultery that the woman had been caught up with before she was dragged to Jesus. Yet in that story he doesn’t categorize her or judge her. In fact, he responds to the situation in such a way that when he looks up from his ground-based Etch-a-Sketch he has to ask, “Hey naked lady, where are your accusers?” If I’d have asked that question this Sunday morning the Metropolitan congregation would have easily been able to point out their religious accusers. They still deal with rocks being tossed their way.

So I empty my hands of any pebbles that I’m carrying and walk into the LGBT community center where the church meets. My hand is immediately filled with the warm hand of another. There is a smile, there is a greeting, there is an exchange of names and she ushers me into the fellowship hall where the service will take place. She introduces me around. They laugh that they will be able to remember my name since there is just one new person in their midst, but that I will have more trouble because all of them are new to me.

I take stock of the people filling the room. Sex is now the last thing on my mind. These aren’t the good looking characters from the situational comedies on TV. Some are big, some are plain, some are crippled, some are awkward, some are old. Any thoughts I had about this being a place to “hook-up” were erased. These people had a far different agenda all together—they had come to worship God together.

It was a pretty typical service. There were both hymns and contemporary worship songs, an offering, an opportunity to give to the building fund, candle-lighting for specific prayers, communion, two Bible readings, an applicable message from the scripture, and a fellowship time following the benediction with cup cakes. Listening to the prayer time was very revealing- they weren’t praying for “gay” things. They were praying for their kids, for their jobs (or lack of them, in this economy), their parents, their friends having surgeries, their aches and pains, their sufferings in this world. They prayed for patience and understanding—the very things I was praying today for myself.

I went to an MCC, queer, homosexual, LGBT, left-leaning, different, church today. I worshipped God and made friends.

Who are the Churches in your Neighborhood?

Week 6 Preview—Preparing to Go to a Gay Church

Most of the gay people I have gone to church with fit into one of two categories:

1. They are doing everything they can not to “be” gay, including whatever programs our church has to modify or “heal” their sexual orientation.
2. They are doing everything they can not to “act” gay, as they know that coming out will be devastating in our religious environment.

What I’ve never experienced in a church environment is people being upfront about their same-sex orientation, while at the same time pursuing healthy spirituality. Since that doesn’t happen in my church, I’ll be going down the street to one where it does.

I’m not sure what to expect

When I close my eyes and try to picture a gay church all of the popular, Hollywood depictions come to mind.

• The men will talk like Will and Jack from Will and Grace
• The women will all wear pants, like Ellen DeGeneres
• The couples will be funny, like Mitchell and Cameron from The Modern Family
• Everyone will be dressed to the standards of the Fashon Fab Five from The Queer Eye
• The worship music will include show tunes and be sprinkled through the service like songs in a glee episode.

I have some cultural biases, don’t I? I wonder if I will find any of them to be true.

It isn’t easy to be “out” in my town

I don’t live in the most liberal state. My neighborhood is pretty conservative, even though we’ve been voting for the Democratic candidates of late. We still rubberneck when we see two men walking down the sidewalk holding hands—and wonder if our kids in the backseat saw it too—and if we are going to have to discuss it with them over dinner.

There is even a church in the next town that has frequently used its billboard as a bullying, battering ram. They let the community know that homosexuality is a gross sin and that anyone who practices it will go straight to hell without pause. They state it in multiple ways, in short little quips, always in ALL CAPS (though I guess it is true that most billboards use all caps, this church just seems to be screaming a bit louder). I’m not sure what their motivation is for their advertisements. Do they expect gay people to come to their church and repent because of the drive-by proclamation? Is it, instead, just a way to position their church with others? (Look how righteous we are! We openly bash homosexuals!) Do they think it is in their job description to tell everyone what they think is right and wrong? (Which, by the way, didn’t we learn from Adam and Eve’s experience in the Garden of Eden that wanting to be like God and determine the difference between good and evil is a sin itself?)

Maybe I’ll go visit this church too, even though they are outside my neighborhood project, just to see if I can get any more clarity.

I’m annoyed at myself for feeling uneasy about this church visitation

I’ve been worried that some of my blog readers may stop caring about this project when I start reporting on churches that don’t match up with their belief system. But this project is only about the readers when they consider themselves in their own neighborhoods. As for me, the Metropolitan Community Church IS in my neighborhood and this congregation is worth the time and effort of getting to know. I’m pretty sure Jesus loves them immensely, and he would at least drop by their place of worship or share a meal with them; so I’m starting with that as my motivation.

I’m also worried that I’ll stand out like a sore thumb—that they’ll look at me and know immediately that I’m so straight that I’ve never met a pair of boobs I didn’t like. I’m worried they will ask me to leave because I can’t get the gaydar needle to budge.

I’m worried that somebody will try to hit on me. I’m worried that I’m not fabulous enough and that no one will.

And if I’m really, super honest, I’m not worried about finding things to criticize, disagree with, and throw stones at; but I am worried that I’ll see Jesus living in their broken lives, just like I know he’s living in mine.

Staying in the Closet

I planned to visit the Metropolitan Community Church this coming weekend.

There are several churches in my area that are rainbow friendly.

• The United Church of Christ was the first denomination in our country to ordain an openly gay pastor.
• One of the local, liberal Jewish synagogues welcomes LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender) people.
• The Quakers recognize same-sex marriage even though there are laws in our country against it.
• The Episcopal Church encourages members of sexual minorities to attend.
• The Unitarian Church is open to everyone, even Jedi’s.

But the church I intended to visit this weekend, the Metropolitan, is the church that was founded for the purpose of meeting the spiritual needs of the LGBT community. Unfortunately their meeting time conflicts with a gathering I have with my extended family. If I show up late, I will get grilled as to where I was. If they find out I’ve been down at the Metropolitan the secret will be out. THEY WILL KNOW I’M VISITING CHURCHES.

I’ll put the Metropolitan thing off for another week because I’m just not ready to come out yet.