- They are doing everything they can not to “be” gay, including whatever programs our church has to modify or “heal” their sexual orientation.
- They are doing everything they can not to “act” gay, as they know that coming out will be devastating in our religious environment.
What I’ve never experienced in a church environment is people being upfront about their same-sex orientation, while at the same time pursuing healthy spirituality. Since that doesn’t happen in my church, I’ll be going down the street to one where it does.
I’m not sure what to expect
When I close my eyes and try to picture a gay church all of the popular, Hollywood depictions come to mind.
- The men will talk like Will and Jack from Will and Grace
- The women will all wear pants, like Ellen DeGeneres
- The couples will be funny, like Mitchell and Cameron from The Modern Family
- Everyone will be dressed to the standards of the Fashon Fab Five from The Queer Eye
- The worship music will include show tunes and be sprinkled through the service like songs in a glee episode.
I have some cultural biases, don’t I? I wonder if I will find any of them to be true.
It isn’t easy to be “out” in my town
I don’t live in the most liberal state. My neighborhood is pretty conservative, even though we’ve been voting for the Democratic candidates of late. We still rubberneck when we see two men walking down the sidewalk holding hands—and wonder if our kids in the backseat saw it too—and if we are going to have to discuss it with them over dinner.
There is even a church in the next town that has frequently used its billboard as a bullying, battering ram. They let the community know that homosexuality is a gross sin and that anyone who practices it will go straight to hell without pause. They state it in multiple ways, in short little quips, always in ALL CAPS (though I guess it is true that most billboards use all caps, this church just seems to be screaming a bit louder). I’m not sure what their motivation is for their advertisements. Do they expect gay people to come to their church and repent because of the drive-by proclamation? Is it, instead, just a way to position their church with others? (Look how righteous we are! We openly bash homosexuals!) Do they think it is in their job description to tell everyone what they think is right and wrong? (Which, by the way, didn’t we learn from Adam and Eve’s experience in the Garden of Eden that wanting to be like God and determine the difference between good and evil is a sin itself?)
Maybe I’ll go visit this church too, even though they are outside my neighborhood project, just to see if I can get any more clarity.
I’m annoyed at myself for feeling uneasy about this church visitation
I’ve been worried that some of my blog readers may stop caring about this project when I start reporting on churches that don’t match up with their belief system. But this project is only about the readers when they consider themselves in their own neighborhoods. As for me, the Metropolitan Community Church IS in my neighborhood and this congregation is worth the time and effort of getting to know. I’m pretty sure Jesus loves them immensely, and he would at least drop by their place of worship or share a meal with them; so I’m starting with that as my motivation.
I’m also worried that I’ll stand out like a sore thumb—that they’ll look at me and know immediately that I’m so straight that I’ve never met a pair of boobs I didn’t like. I’m worried they will ask me to leave because I can’t get the gaydar needle to budge.
I’m worried that somebody will try to hit on me. I’m worried that I’m not fabulous enough and that no one will.
And if I’m really, super honest, I’m not worried about finding things to criticize, disagree with, and throw stones at; but I am worried that I’ll see Jesus living in their broken lives, just like I know he’s living in mine.
